Greg Gutfeld: We arrived house empty-handed from Biden-Putin summit

Putin remained as interesting as Fonzie locked in a wander-in freezer in the summit with Biden. Joe was as defensive as me when my spouse finds me googling leather-based headgear. 

So, was something accomplished? Joe earning it through the full excursion without having breaking his hip on a staircase is anything we can be very pleased of. 

But this is the same reset schedule that impresses no just one but a fangirling media. It really is exciting for them. They get to fly to Geneva, combine Ambien with vodka on the airplane, and wake up in a time zone with their trousers on their heads. Shout out to Acosta. 


Let’s communicate about the dumbest matter a president has ever completed considering that FDR tried to bounce in the White Home pool. Yesterday Joe Biden explained to us what he reported to Putin about cyber-assaults. It is really wonderful. 

BIDEN: I talked about the proposition that specific critical infrastructures should be offlimits to attack period of time by cyber or any other implies. I gave them a listing…16 distinct entities, 16 described as essential infrastructure beneath U.S. coverage, from the electrical power sector to our h2o methods.

I am dumbstruck. So dumbstruck in reality that I imagine I could now host “The See” and enjoy all five elements. He acts like this is an accomplishment! He tells Putin what is actually off-boundaries for an assault. Does that advise that every thing not on that record, is on-restrictions? 

Putin has the excellent defense if he wishes to hack SpaceX! “I’m sorry, it was not on the checklist.”

Now – I went by means of this listing, mainly because, like Miley Cyrus’s ass, it’s readily available for all people to see. It is on the CISA web site, so we can all reference it. 

And you can find a lot Joe didn’t put in there, like, say Fox News. Or my duplex in Damascus. 

Never we all see how strange this is: to give your adversary “boundaries,” like he is your dominatrix. Spank me – but no tickling! 

It truly is like a mobster who’s about to be whacked but asks his killers just not in the experience. Which guarantees himself a shut casket. 

Inquiring bullies nicely does not even function versus Chrissy Teigen. 


If Joe ended up any far more naïve he’d be sending a airplane complete of income to Iran. 

I ponder how the angry white male sees it?

Tom Shillue, Indignant White Male: I guess that can make sense. You make a list, question for what you want. My spouse does that with me. See, milk, eggs, light bulbs. Finished. Yup, you wanna, gotta, do a thing, you make a listing, he’ll stick to it. But then all over again, I’m not an evil dictator. 

That checklist is like leaving a observe on your entrance door as you depart for trip. 

“Robbers, if you consider of breaking in, remember to do not focus on the safe and sound behind the painting in the living home. Or the wife’s diamonds in the bedroom dresser, and most significant – do not check the purple container in the basement – that is exactly where we retain Walt Disney’s head.” 

Biden’s checklist is as productive as a “drug use is prohibited signal” at Charlie Sheen’s property. How can you be so clueless, to give a globe chief a checklist of our vulnerabilities? 


Putin’s the president of Russia, he’s not your shrink. 

Now I get it – the checklist is generic and obvious. So is Applebee’s menu but I am still gonna try out a couple of factors. 

You will find mention of factors like dams. Who understood you could hack a dam! Now we all do! Many thanks, Joe!  

And who thought to make this list in the initial position? Could you envision the brainstorming conference? “Hey, the manager asked us to come up with demands for Putin.” 

“I got an concept — they’ve been launching cyber-assaults! Why do not we give them a checklist of things not to cyber-attack? That ought to clear up the problem.” 

“Yeah, great idea pat! And listed here we considered hires for the sake of range were being worthless!” 

And what did they hope in Putin’s response? “Whoa – thank you so a lot! This a significantly much better gift than that stupid reset button! I’m gonna have to rethink our  strategy to attack these locations.” 

Did Biden’s team imagine this would start off a negotiation?  

“President Putin, listed here are the 16 sites we would like you not to goal.” 

“Thank you, President Biden – we are going to again off on the post workplace – they appear able of incompetence on their individual. But we’d however like to target the strength sector, chemical and essential manufacturing.” 

Well, ok, Mr. Putin, which is development!   

NIKKI HALEY: BIDEN Effectively ‘GAVE PUTIN A Significant KISS’ All through GENEVA SUMMIT

We’ve gone from “Mr. Gorbachev tear down this wall” to “you should Mr. Putin do not assault this firewall.” 

Glimpse – I’m no presidential historian. I obtain toes from drifters – I really do not know if I must have confessed that.

But – we know Biden’s weak, and Putin’s not. 

We also know that Putin’s blessed with normally remaining in charge, while we transform leaders every 4 or 8 several years. 

He’s Bill Belichick, and we are the new york jets shifting head coaches continually. (See, I know baseball, Kat.)

So it is really normally us, who has to offer with him. And he receives to sit back and grin at the new guy. 

 And, he’s properly considering: why buy the cow if you can get the pipeline for absolutely free? 

Continue to – why make it so straightforward for Vlad? Biden will come off as human assets, telling Putin, the manager, to end flirting brazenly with China. 

All the even though our media swoons more than Biden, it would make me question – how is CNN covering the summit end result?

So, Putin obtained a pipeline, some fancy sunglasses. And a to-do record for his cyber military. 

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And we came residence empty-handed. 

Poor Joe didn’t even get to sniff anyone’s hair. 

Possibly future time. 

 This article is tailored from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the June 18, 2021 version of “Gutfeld!”